Wednesday, 3/10/10 - La Genoise

Considering we only made one cake in class, I'll keep this short. Let's face it, there's nothing interesting about cake...NOT.

We made a classic genoise, or whole egg foam cake, and topped it with homemade buttercream icing. We're just beginning our pastry portion of the level, but are quickly realizing that its very different and much harder than the savory dishes. In pastry, you must be meticulous about measuring your ingredients, maintaining proportions and keeping everything cold, whereas my general attitude is "Yeah, that looks about right," or "Sure, throw it in!" That does not work for pastry....reminding me why I would never make it as a pastry chef.

A genoise is made by whipping eggs and sugar over heat until they thicken and triple in size. You then very quickly fold in sifted flour, a little bit of melted butter and immediately pour it into your cold cake pan and then into the oven. They're fickle little cakies, and can lose their volume in seconds if not done right, leaving you with a hockey puck instead of a fluffy delicious cake.

We had free reign to decorate our cake, and were given close to 30 options: fresh fruit, dried fruit, liquers, flavored liquids, nuts and herbs, to name a few. I chose to dab an amaretto simple syrup on each layer of my cake, coat the sides with chopped pistacchios, make a spiral pattern on the top and fill it in with chopped almonds. Yum. This cake is disgustingly fattening, even without the full buttercream icing, so I've given most of it away. Most of it....but not all. :)

P.S. Chef Marc won "Chopped"!!! He's hilarious on the episode, telling the other competitors, "Doon't vorrie, I vill vin." (That's a terrible typed French accent) Check it out at www.FoodNetwork.com/Chopped

Monday, 3/8/10 – Tarts

I was a little nervous about tart day. I’ve heard how fickle the dough can be, and everyone built it up to be incredibly difficult. I’m pretty sure Miss Ginger is the only person I’ve ever met who can make a perfect tart…and I mean perfect. Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t that terrible, and you can’t beat the end result, whatever the filling or process may be.

There was just one problem. We’ve been fortunate enough to have both Chef Phil and Chef Ray for Levels 1 and 2 considering that this is a French school, and they are perhaps the only two instructors who speak English as their first language. Even when you throw in a vague East Coast accent, it’s still safe to say that it’s never a challenge to follow their lectures. Last night, however, our regular Chef was on vacation so Chef Marc filled in to teach us the beauty of tarts. That would have been great, if he weren’t an incredibly fast-talking French man. It went a little something like this: “Il s'agit d'une conférence inutile which is the most important thing you need to know personne ne l'obtient. Si vous ne le faites pas that is the one right way to cook anything ever tartes aux pommes sont delivious. Les poires sont la clé de tartes the best secret of French cooks, and it’s the only time anyone will ever tell you that.” Awesome; absorbing 15% of the lecture isn’t too bad. I liked him though because he pronounced my name with that one sound that only the French can create: Jacques-leen. I’m easy to please.

We made a beautiful apple tart filled with a yummy homemade applesauce covered in thin apple slices arranged in a clockwise spiral. It was less sweet than I expected and tasted very much like dried apple slices. We then made a pear tart filled with delicious almond custard and topped with canned pears in a flower pattern, and brushed both beauties with an apricot glaze to give it that magazine finish. Finally, we made a caramelized onion tart with bacon, a savory dish that can be served for any meal of the day. Unfortunately, we ran out of time and were unable to make the Quiche Lorraine, but I look forward to whipping one up on an upcoming lazy Sunday morning. We received a quick nod and “Nettoyez votre station,” from Chef after presenting our tarts. It meant absolutely nothing to me, so I’m still not sure if he liked them or not. They were delicious, so his comment couldn’t have been too bad.

As a side note, Chef Marc is competing on tonight’s (Tuesday) episode of “Chopped” on the Food Network! Someone managed to translate that and spread the word, so I’m very excited to see how he does. He’s currently on as I type, as is a great view of the FCI kitchens, but I can’t stay up long enough to see the end.

The basic tarts that we completed weren’t incredibly hard, and I definitely showed that dough who’s boss. It only took about 4 hours, but I discovered that showing some muscle made it submit. I’ll have to try that in my other life, but I should probably work on my muscles first before challenging anyone.

RANDOM TIP(S) OF THE DAY

Using a marinade on meat or poultry is a wonderful way to infuse flavor and create texture. Below are a few helpful tips that will help you along the way.

• A cooked marinade is used when the item must be marinated for a long time, such as a tough or large piece of meat. The vegetables and herbs are sautéed or simmered first to ensure that they don’t ferment too quickly during the marinating process.
• An uncooked marinade is used when the item needs to be marinated for a shorter amount of time, such as a smaller piece of meat or chicken.
• Refrigerating the items while marinating will keep them at a safe temperature, and turning them frequently will ensure that the flavors are distributed evenly.
• The marinade makes a perfect sauce for the final dish, just be sure to bring it to a boil for at least 3 minutes to kill any harmful bacteria.

Friday, 3/5/10 – Eggs

Everyone loves eggs, that’s a given. Whether they’re hard-boiled, sunny-side-up, doused in hollandaise or served over steak, you always win with eggs. Who would have thought that cooking (and sometimes purposely not cooking) the unfertilized embryo of a chicken/ostrich/quail would be so popular and so versatile?

The French love their omelettes, rolled or flat, buttered or browned, dressed or naked. I definitely had my fill of eggs by the end of the night, but left knowing eight new ways to prepare them for any time of the day. We made a browned flat omelette with onions, tomatoes and green peppers (Basque-style), and also made a rolled omelette that was purposely left runny in the middle (eek) and perfectly un-colored. We then learned the absolute perfect method for poaching eggs and hard-boiling them. For just 4 quick and easy payments of $49.99 you too can learn these methods and banish the runny egg blues! Call now!

Satisfaction and fulfillment not guaranteed. Money will be used to purchase shoes for the administrator of Getting Cooked, who will refuse to answer phone, email and facebook messages after cashing checks. Credit cards also accepted.

I was introduced to a heart attack in a ramekin – the Oeufs Cocotte, or an egg cooked in cream. It’s actually very easy: you break an egg into a buttered ramekin, reduce your cream, season it with pepper, salt and nutmeg and pour it on top of the egg, covering it and filling the sides. You then bake it in the oven until it’s slightly set, but the yolk is still runny. It’s absolutely delicious, and dipping a few pieces of bread into it would be unreal. I just can’t justify that…I can’t. The perfect party treat, however, would be the Oeufs Farcis Chimay – stuffed eggs, Chimay style. It was a savory and decadent version of Deviled Eggs, only filled with mushrooms, egg yolk and béchamel and then topped with Gruyere béchamel (called a Mornay) and a heap of Gruyere. It is then baked until melted, and run under the salamander to get a brown crust. Absolutely delicious, and would be easy to prepare ahead of time for a dinner party or cocktail soiree, since I host so many of those on a regular basis…

We’re studying tarts and doughs on Monday, so we prepared our pâte brisée and threw it into the freezer for later use. Judging by how finicky and particular this most basic dough was for us, I assume Monday will be kind of a pain.

Sometimes in life God proves to you that he knows exactly what you need, and he seems to pull strings and re-arrange situations to award you a simple surprise. Steve and I were having a lazy Saturday at a local Greek deli, enjoying falafel and hummus, when my mom, who’s been at a conference in Boston all week, called. “Hey…what are you doing tonight,” she asked sheepishly. “Um, nothing special.” Boy was that true. “Well, my flight is delayed…and I have the option of possibly being able to stay overnight in NYC. Is that ok with you?” Is that ok with me?? “Yay! Of course! OMG it’ll be so fun we’ll have dinner at my school! And we can have a sleepover! Puppies, ponies and rainbows!!” “Jackie, let me just make sure I can arrange it first.” Sure enough, she was not only able to come to NYC but extended her stay a full 24-hours! We had a blast, tried out a new Mexican restaurant in Harlem, had brunch at my school’s elegant restaurant and dragged her along as we ran our weekend errands buying toothpaste and such. It was a wonderful turn of events for our boring and uneventful weekend, and we were so happy to be able to spend some time with her. It was a little ironic though, because my mom has always, always promised me she would not be the type of mom to just show up on the doorstep for an extended weekend. Sure enough, we’re married for 4 months and what does she do? It was such a wonderful surprise, though, and we’re very grateful it worked out. Husbands are the best, but sometimes a girl needs her mommy.

Wednesday, 3/3/10 – Organ Meats

I didn’t puke!! I didn’t even emit the slight cough-gag that I’ve gotten used to covering up as a sort of throat-clear. You see, I have this problem where I obsess about how gross something is, even when it’s not gross at all, and then end up being totally repulsed by it, causing me to gag uncontrollably.

Too much information. Anyway, we ventured into the delicacy of organ meats, preparing sweetbreads (thymus glands), veal kidneys, calf’s liver and lamb tongue. Organ meats, because of their distinct organey taste, are usually served with very strong flavors such as mustard and vinegar. You can cover up the taste, but you can’t cover up the texture.

First, we caramelized onions and created a vinegar and veal stock sauce. While the sauce was reducing, we doused the liver in flour and pan-fried it in butter. We served the crispy liver draped with the onion sauce and sprinkled with parsley. Why is it that liver and onions are the butt of every joke; the epitome of the grossest meal ever; a punishment for a naughty child who doesn’t wipe his plate clean. Because it’s gross, that’s why. It tasted like sucking on a penny that coats your mouth with a layer of crap that doesn’t go away.

Moving on to the sweetbreads, we rubbed them in mustard, coated them with Panko bread crumbs and pan-fried them as well - apparently the only way to get an American to eat animal organs is to fry them! We served the sweetbreads on a bed of arugula tossed with a warm shallot/garlic/tomato vinaigrette.

After our dinner break (on the one night I don’t cook my own meal we are served curried lamb, the bowel irritator of all irritators…….I went to bed hungry last night) we sautéed the kidneys and served them swimming in a mustard sauce. Finally, when we thought we couldn’t handle another minute of these “delicacies,” Chef pulled out a vat of blanched veal tongues. The odd thing about veal tongues is that they LOOK LIKE TONGUES! They were all grey and smooth, and when I reached into the bucket I think one licked me. Interestingly enough they have to be peeled first, which is a task much harder than it sounds. Peeling a slimy tongue of its rubbery skin is hilarious.

I don’t mean to be so negative about the whole experience, it was just a little too odd for comfort. I always attempt to branch out and try new things – at least now I know that I don’t like sweetbreads and kidney and liver. The tongue I could do, but not the other recently functioning offal. Steve is definitely more adventurous than I am, but I won’t be sautéing any kidneys in the Lindsey kitchen any time soon. But hey, it was fun.

Monday, 3/1/10 – Stuffings

There is nothing more appetizing than pureed raw chicken mixed with heavy cream and egg white. I’m kidding – this, my friends, is mousseline and it is really gross. Chef demonstrated the process, added truffles and pistachios, and then stuffed a de-boned chicken with it, rolled it into a log and blanched it. Yuck. Good news! There was extra, so he took only the skin from another chicken, stuffed it with mousseline into a log and blanched it. I mean…it was like a bad dream. There are few things that gross me out (leftovers, the sound of chewing and excrement caught in Ellie’s fur) but this was pushing it.

When we weren’t observing, we were mixing up an Italian sausage/herb/mushroom stuffing and rolling it into thin beef escalopes, almost like a braciole. Using bacon, shallots, mushrooms and zucchini scraps, we stuffed tomatoes, mushroom caps and zucchini cups, covered them with parmesan and baked them in the oven. We used the meat drippings to make a beef sauce, and served it all together swimming in a pool of juicy goodness.

Our beefy euphoria (say that three times fast) was soon ruined, however, by the chopped liver puree we were expected to spread on delicious buttery baguettes. I honest to goodness would not feed that to my cat; it was incredibly unappetizing. I found that the class was divided, though, into people who absolutely loved it and people who absolutely hated it (guess what side I was on), most likely dictated by their childhood experiences.

Sometimes/often when I’m bored I think of ridiculous things in my head to keep myself occupied. For instance, how hilarious would it be if MTV did a reality show about my class? Not an ordinary reality show, though. When filming these shows, they always try to make everything seem so ridiculous and outrageous, like there is constant drama and excitement. Behind the scenes, though, I’m sure there are those painfully boring moments when everyone is simply nice to each other! Our reality show, release date TBD, will include 3 full hours of vegetable chopping, a few minutes of some friendly banter and endless footage of students washing tools and utensils. There might be a dropped roast here and a spilled sauce there, but those scenes would inevitable get cut by the censors due to foul language. Like any reality production, though, the film will be spliced to make it seem like we’re all a bunch of floozy, unskilled, entitled 16-yr-olds. I just hope they do a montage during the season finale set to “Fernando” by ABBA that includes the time I burned my hand, video of me slow-mo-running up four flights of stairs with my knife pack, then tripping, and a shot of me with the cleaver murdering the fish carcass. It could end with me and a classmate embraced in an emotional hug with a “we did it!” look on our faces. MTV, I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.