There is nothing more appetizing than pureed raw chicken mixed with heavy cream and egg white. I’m kidding – this, my friends, is mousseline and it is really gross. Chef demonstrated the process, added truffles and pistachios, and then stuffed a de-boned chicken with it, rolled it into a log and blanched it. Yuck. Good news! There was extra, so he took only the skin from another chicken, stuffed it with mousseline into a log and blanched it. I mean…it was like a bad dream. There are few things that gross me out (leftovers, the sound of chewing and excrement caught in Ellie’s fur) but this was pushing it.
When we weren’t observing, we were mixing up an Italian sausage/herb/mushroom stuffing and rolling it into thin beef escalopes, almost like a braciole. Using bacon, shallots, mushrooms and zucchini scraps, we stuffed tomatoes, mushroom caps and zucchini cups, covered them with parmesan and baked them in the oven. We used the meat drippings to make a beef sauce, and served it all together swimming in a pool of juicy goodness.
Our beefy euphoria (say that three times fast) was soon ruined, however, by the chopped liver puree we were expected to spread on delicious buttery baguettes. I honest to goodness would not feed that to my cat; it was incredibly unappetizing. I found that the class was divided, though, into people who absolutely loved it and people who absolutely hated it (guess what side I was on), most likely dictated by their childhood experiences.
Sometimes/often when I’m bored I think of ridiculous things in my head to keep myself occupied. For instance, how hilarious would it be if MTV did a reality show about my class? Not an ordinary reality show, though. When filming these shows, they always try to make everything seem so ridiculous and outrageous, like there is constant drama and excitement. Behind the scenes, though, I’m sure there are those painfully boring moments when everyone is simply nice to each other! Our reality show, release date TBD, will include 3 full hours of vegetable chopping, a few minutes of some friendly banter and endless footage of students washing tools and utensils. There might be a dropped roast here and a spilled sauce there, but those scenes would inevitable get cut by the censors due to foul language. Like any reality production, though, the film will be spliced to make it seem like we’re all a bunch of floozy, unskilled, entitled 16-yr-olds. I just hope they do a montage during the season finale set to “Fernando” by ABBA that includes the time I burned my hand, video of me slow-mo-running up four flights of stairs with my knife pack, then tripping, and a shot of me with the cleaver murdering the fish carcass. It could end with me and a classmate embraced in an emotional hug with a “we did it!” look on our faces. MTV, I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.
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