January 6th, 2010: Day 1

Numero uno. D-Day. The Resurrection.

This was it – my first day as a student at The French Culinary Institute in New York City. I have to admit, it felt really good. I was nervous as crap, but it felt really good. Finally, I was in the kitchen, slicing and dicing and learning my trade from a world-class chef. While looking back on the scene in my mind, I had a cutting board full of perfectly measured and executed carrot mirepoix and the angels were gathering over my station to sing their songs of joy for this prodigy child – it’s important to note that the reality was that it was HARD, harder than I ever imagined….and I seriously don’t know sh*#. The look on my face, I can only assume, was one of complete blankness and fear. Fear for my present situation, fear for the future of my butchered turnip a l'etuvee a.k.a. my reputation and fear because I was literally afraid of cutting turnips. If one wants to become one of the world class chefs, how can one be afraid of cutting turnips?

All in all, it was an amazing first day. It felt like the first day of high school - you come out of 8^th grade as the top dog, the master of algebra with the tight group of friends, the head of the school. (Well, that wasn’t my personal experience but I assume that’s what being cool feels like.) Then you enter high school….and it’s back to the bottom for you. Suddenly you’re face-down in a hallway trash can with your underwear pulled over your head while someone yells “Jackie Smacky!”, praying that you could just go back to middle school and wondering how you’re ever going to scratch your way to the top in this new, cruel world. In the comforts of my home kitchen, I’m The Man (read: Woman). I know my tools, where they’re located and I’m creative and confident, ready to take on any challenge. Yet in this new industrial environment I was second-guessing everything. I even asked my dear new station mate, Dorothy, which way to peel a carrot. Seriously. I’m not kidding.

I know that my confidence will grow, and that my technique will be honed and pretty soon I’ll be shredding an onion in under a minute. But for now, it’s into the unknown. And that’s the best part: unending opportunity.